COVID-19 Is A Lot Of Things, But It Isn’t A Reason To Put Off Therapy
You can search for your new therapist, schedule the appointment, and complete the session all while sheltering in place.
There have been countless social media posts over the past couple of weeks expressing gratitude for telehealth, including praise for therapists who have been able to provide virtual counseling sessions in lieu of office visits. In my community of fellow therapists, I’m so happy to see most of them embracing technology and quickly shifting their scheduled sessions to one of the secure, HIPAA-compliant online counseling platforms.
What I haven’t heard much about in this climate of social distancing is making the decision to start therapy right now. Finding a therapist is already an intimidating experience for most people, so adding the crisis of a global pandemic to the mix could be paralyzing to say the least. Perhaps it’s time to dispel a few myths about starting therapy online during the coronavirus outbreak and addres the reasons why you may be considering COVID-19 to be the perfect excuse to hold off on contacting a therapist. (Psst, it isn’t.)
1. The first visit has to be in person.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to have an existing relationship with a therapist in order to get some professional support right now. Yes, that’s right. You can find a therapist today who will schedule a free introductory phone call to determine if they can help you and then schedule your first appointment online. Many people think the first visit must be face to face in an office. While meeting initially in person may be ideal for many situations, there are therapists who have 100% online practices and have been operating in this mode for quite some time now. Online therapy isn’t new. I’ve been offering virtual sessions for several years now, mainly for my clients who moved to another city within the state and as a backup method for meeting during inclement weather, when childcare falls through, or travel. Until COVID-19 changed the way we do, um, well, everything, I insisted that a client’s first appointment be in the office, but now that face-to-face simply isn’t an option, I’ve accepted that perhaps a virtual first session can be just as beneficial as an office visit. An online first session is definitely better than no therapy at all! Can I get a virtual elbow bump?
2. Online therapy isn’t as effective as in-person.
I’ve been guilty myself of expressing skepticism that online therapy “isn’t as effective,” “will only do as a backup,” or, as discussed above, “should never be used for a first session with a brand new client.” But I no longer view online counseling as inferior to traditional office sessions. Let’s be honest, there are downsides to everything. There are body language cues that you can easily miss when you are communicating via video. I can’t assure that a client’s family isn’t listening in on our conversations (a particular worry in our current stay-at-home environment). There are sometimes technological hiccups to deal with, video freezing up, audio dropping out, that kind of stuff. The dynamic is different when you aren’t physically present with the person you’re talking to. So, no, I do not believe that virtual counseling is right for everyone 100% of the time. But that is not a reason to not give it a shot. You and your therapist can determine if it’s appropriate for you right now.
3. I’m not tech savvy / I don’t have time to learn a bunch of new technology.
It’s natural to be intimidated by anything new. That’s just your trusty lizard brain trying to protect you. If you have an internet connection and a smartphone, you can do this. Therapists are using all kinds of different communication methods to do telehealth. You may have to download an app for your phone or computer at no cost to you. In my practice, I use TherapyPortal, an all-in-one EHR and telehealth platform that’s user-friendly and simple to use. Accept the fear you’re experiencing and be willing to give it a try anyway. If you have any problems, your therapist will help you figure it out. You and your therapist will have already discussed a backup plan in case of any technological mishaps anyway. Worst case is you aren’t able to get the video call to work, and you decide to talk by phone or try again later. Best case is you log right on and have a very helpful therapy session that validates your feelings, leaving you feeling heard and seen with some tools you can use to manage your symptoms. Yeah, I think it’s worth pushing through some trepidation, don’t you?
Quick tips for setting yourself up for a successful online counseling session:
Use headphones or earbuds, if possible, to cut down on background noise for both you and your therapist and to ensure a little more privacy. The other people around you won’t be able to hear what your therapist is saying, at least. By the way, in terms of privacy and acoustics, your bedroom closet can often be an ideal location.
Spend a few minutes locating a spot where your internet connection is strongest. Depending on where you are, your cell phone may work just fine. I’ve even had people do sessions from their car in the driveway or parking lot using their cell phone’s data connection.
Most telehealth platforms offer the option to do a test call to try out your audio and video settings. It’s usually an automated interaction, not with a live human.
Turn off notifications or put your phone or computer on Do Not Disturb.
4. I shouldn’t be spending money on non-essentials right now.
Well, this little piece of internet real estate right here certainly isn’t the place to debate whether mental health should be considered essential (OF COURSE IT IS. IT’S A THERAPIST’S BLOG. AND YES, MENTAL HEALTHCARE IS ESSENTIAL. IT’S YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!!!).
We are all feeling some anxiety about finances right now, and I would never try to scare you into spending money you don’t have or pressure you into trying therapy if you aren’t ready. You know your financial situation better than anyone else. There is a ton of uncertainty about just about everything, and keeping a close eye on your budget makes you feel like you have some control. You know what else makes you feel like you have some control? Intentionally deciding to set aside some funds for something that is helpful. It’s difficult to make your mental healthcare a priority. It isn’t a big gaping physical wound begging for attention. It’s more like that dull headache that starts throbbing when life gets stressful but subsides a little at night when you have some time to yourself. Then the cycle starts over when you wake up to face the next morning.
Establishing a relationship with a trusted therapist is one of the most beneficial and impactful steps you can take for yourself right now that will not only serve you during this present crisis but will equip you with the tools you need to manage future stressors.
Yes, therapy is an investment. If you are looking for an in-network provider who is contracted with your insurance carrier, check your specific healthcare plan’s directory. When you contact a therapist listed there, always confirm that they are currently in-network and that tele-mental-health is covered. Paying out-of-pocket may be more expensive, but it gives you and your therapist a lot more freedom to decide how to best work together:
Insurance = The insurance company controls your care, as in number of visits, frequency of sessions, whether your treatment is “medically necessary,” which of your symptoms meet the criteria for a mental health disorder diagnosis (which is, by the way, a requirement in order for an in-network therapist to get paid).
Out-of-Pocket = You and your therapist control your care, deciding on how often to meet, where to meet (I even offer Walk & Talk therapy, in non-pandemic times, of course, and insurance would never cover such a thing!), whether or not you need a mental health diagnosis (FYI, you don’t need a diagnosis in order to benefit from counseling, but insurance companies aren’t in the business of paying for something that they don’t deem medically necessary), how long your sessions last, what you talk about, etc.
Whether you opt for an in-network provider or go out-of-network, keep in mind that you can probably use your health spending/flex spending account to pay for your therapy visits. Most therapists accept credit cards, including HSA/FSA benefit cards, so just remember that the money you’ve set aside in your HSA/FSA account could be well spent on counseling. If you aren’t sure if you have this kind of benefit, check with your employer’s Human Resources department.
5. Fill in the blank:________________
All the same pre-pandemic worries still apply: What if I don’t know what to say? What if I don’t like the therapist? What if it makes me feel uncomfortable? Where do I even start? Fill in the blank with any excuses you can come up with. Be sure to check my FAQs for more answers to common But-What-If? concerns.
Your brain will present all kinds of worries to talk you out of doing anything new. Thank it for its amazing life-saving skills, and then reassure it that just because something feels threatening doesn’t mean it is threatening. Do some research by checking out a few different therapists in your area. (Typically, your therapist must be licensed in the state where you reside, even if the services are conducted online.) Ask trusted friends if they have any recommendations. Talk to your OB/GYN or primary care doctor about a referral. (Don’t worry. This doesn’t have to be a formal complicated referral process. Most of the time, they just provide a list of trusted local therapists they know.) You can always just Google “therapist near me,” but for a less overwhelming experience, try one of the online directories. Two of my favorites are TherapyDen and the Secular TherapyProject. Both are inclusive and progressive, screening its participants thoroughly to make sure you’re in good hands.
Your pup may not understand why you’d choose to talk to a human on a screen over taking him for a walk, but he wants what’s best for you.
Review therapists’ websites to see what kinds of issues they specialize in, their communication style, photos, etc. You don’t have to go overboard with your search, but the more information you have, the more confident you will feel reaching out. Schedule a couple of consultation calls so you can get a feel for what it’s like to speak to a counselor. These brief interactions (usually between 15 and 30 minutes) can be very helpful for determining if someone is a good fit for you. You can discuss what you’re looking for help with (for example, feeling overwhelmed, extreme sadness, having a hard time turning off your brain, difficulty sleeping, overly worried, etc.), fees, how payment is processed, and you can ask any other questions you may have about what to expect.
Take a deep breath and remember that if you decide the therapist you selected is not the right match, it’s ok. There are other wonderful professionals out there you can try. On the other hand, you might discover that you instantly connect and feel immediate relief upon being seen, heard, and supported. Or you might be feeling somewhere in the middle. This is perfectly normal and just means you’re getting to know your therapist and adjusting to a new experience. Give it a few sessions, and you just might find that you’re grateful you took this opportunity to find the kind of comforting validation and trust that only comes from this kind of professional support. And the best part is you got all this accomplished without leaving your house while wearing your fuzzy slippers! Yay for social distancing! Way to get what you need AND flatten that curve!
Hey, I’d love to know what you think about this article. Leave a comment to share publicly,, or send me a message using my secure contact form. Either way, I can’t wait to hear from you! Of course, if you’re in North Carolina or South Carolina and looking for a therapist who specializes in mental health in pregnancy and postpartum, schedule a free consultation call today.
